Maternal Mental Health
I specialize in working with women, and their partners, dealing with all stages of maternal mental health. I work with individuals who are navigating ambivalence and inner conflict about deciding to have children, dealing with fertility issues, coping with pregnancy, and general maternal mental health as you adjust to and manage issues arising during parenthood.
Ambivalence/Decision Making-
It can be confusing to make sense of conflicting emotions, external expectations, and the wants and needs of yourself and your parter when deciding if you want to have a child. The ambivalence that so many people feel about making this huge life decision and accepting the many changes and losses involved with this major life transition is not discussed enough, but is such a widely felt experience.
Pregnancy-
Pregnancy involves tolerating a level of uncertainty and helplessness that can be very challenging for many to manage. It can be hard not to attach meaning to every symptom, worry about the vulnerability of yourself and your baby, and get stuck in anticipatory anxiety about all the changes to come.
Adjusting to parenthood-
Having a child and becoming a parent adds so much to your life, but it can also involve feelings of loss. If you are still in the decision making part of this process, it is so common to fear the losses that come with parenthood. Once becoming a parent, is also so normal to grieve your life before parenthood, mourn the independence and freedom you no longer have, and sometimes wish you could go back to a previous version of yourself. All change, even wonderful change, involves loss. It does not take away from the joy or gratitude you have for your child—both can coexist. It’s so important to normalize this.
There are a lot of expectations—both from the external world and often from ourselves—that parenthood means being completely selfless. And while being a parent does involve devoting a lot of your time, energy, and care to others, it is not “selfish” to continue to invest in other aspects of what makes you who you are. It’s necessary to continue to cultivate other parts of yourself outside of your role as a parent.
It can be really challenging to learn to operate in the unpredictability and chaos of parenthood. It’s so important to support yourself in understanding why you may be struggling to shift your expectations of yourself. Together we will help you learn to be patient with your unique process of recovering and adjusting, not just physically but also emotionally. This may involve exploring and more deeply understanding what becoming a parent may be bringing up for you, and your relationship with yourself in general. It can take more time than you expect to adjust to your new life after having a child. Learning to integrate the role of parent into your identity can be wonderful and enriching, while also feeling isolating, overwhelming, and confusing. People talk about “bouncing back,” but you never go back to the person you were before becoming a parent. You may reconnect to familiar parts of yourself, but there is a lot of internal change with this new role and it takes time to adapt.